I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
