Just fell off a train. Bad.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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