P.S. I can't hear my feet
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
