It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
