so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
