So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
