so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
