ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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