apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
