I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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