PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
