We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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