Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
If that was your dad, he is hot
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
