Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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