U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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