i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
