True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
