Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
