from now on my penis is your penis
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
