I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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