it was like eating out sand paper
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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