Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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