Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
