Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
