yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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