I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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