She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
