i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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