dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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