he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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