Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
