didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
