Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
