I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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