I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
