Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
