if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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