she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
