i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
