remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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