I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
