THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
