I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
