Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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