I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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