found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
