Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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