Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
