There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
