People in love make me want to vomit
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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