Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
