he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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