hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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