During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
When did angry sex become our thing?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
