ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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