at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You dont lie about slip and slides
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
