hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
