you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
