At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My liver just broke up with me...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
