I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
