Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
