Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
