New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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